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PILLOW WALK

June 18th, 2014

BALI

 

Was I truly in heaven?

Walking upon the clouds

Weightless, everything spinning around me

Yet, in perfect balance with the above and below

Firm, intentional footsteps

Sinking deep into the folds of fabric

Then floating back up into the landscape

Of soft peaks and valleys

 

Tiptoeing ever so quietly

Through the down comforter

Piled high as a mountain

On the floor at the foot of the bed

 

As I left the room, him, asleep

Entering back into my sad reality

 

Men, Poems, Prayer, desire, and begging

WISH GRANTED (From Modern Prayers for Modern People)

April 5th, 2014
My heart remains in Hawaii

My heart remains in Hawaii

I carried my wish granting crystal in the coin pocket of my skinny jeans for four days. On Thursday I wished for a man. I begged for a man. I demanded a man. I even wined a bit hoping the universe would shower some kindness and compassion upon my blackened soul.

Dear Powers That Be,

Bless you for granting my wish.

Thank you for taking me out of my hell of incessant suffering and

removing me from the solitary confinement which sooths my soul.

Allowing me the pleasure of pressing my skin against another’s skin.

Breathing his breath as though it were my own.

Feeling his heart beat inside of my heart.

Experiencing pure ecstasy of looking into his eyes, looking into mine.

Merged with the infinite, for that moment, I no longer felt dead.

Men, Prayer, desire, and begging , , ,

Please stop F-ing With Me! (from Fucked up Prayers for Fucked up people or Modern Prayers for Modern people)

January 21st, 2014

Fortune
Dear Me__, (Fill in the bank with your favorite Supreme Being, Deity, Spirit Guide, etc)

It’s me!
Please cease and desist these childish games of “groundhog day”, “around the block one more time”, and “remember me?”

When I meet a man in my life and it doesn’t go in a very positive way, I say goodbye and move on.

Why do you keep sending them back to me?
Nora always use to say, “bless them and send them back to God.”
Did God move and not send me its forwarding address?
Is it because I don’t believe in God and am merely “talking to the hand?”
Or just nature’s way of telling me something’s wrong?
Jesus! Or Holy cow! Or just plain, Fuck me!

Hello? Yes, this is she.
Or in Text form: Yes? Who is this, you are not in my “contacts”

Oh, hey Ramano, yes, it’s been a long time. Yes, the Chef, of course I remember you. What’s up? Want to get together? Sure. I still haven’t heard from him yet.

Oh Vik! Yes, I remember you from my friends, friend’s, birthday party 18 months ago. (The worst date that I have ever been on) No, I don’t want to get together again!

Hey Dave! Do I remember you? Not exactly. You were the one that drugged and maybe raped me on New Years Eve last year. So, no, no, I don’t want to go out for a drink.

Steve, Steve who? Oh yes, the Steve from that outside hotel bar two years ago. The after party, party. Are you still married? Yeah, thought so. Call me after the divorce comes through. Nope, I haven’t been thinking about you at all.

Oh hey Paul! What’s up? Do you think we will ever get back together again? WTF! We broke up in 1982. No, no, no, it’s not going to happen. Click.

Fuh real?

It’s been a rough year.
Maybe only two dates, two booty calls.

Prayer:
With gratitude, I would like to say that at least men find me memorable and desirable enough to contact me years after we met, regardless of the outcome.
So what if I am still single.
There are worse things in the world.
Amen.

Men, Prayer, desire, and begging , ,

FIRST DATE

October 17th, 2010

We sat on the cold park bench on the Hudson River sipping Champagne from our insulated stainless steel covered coffee mugs. A first date after hours of longing anticipation was fully activated. Yet we both were so shy and introverted that the tension only intensified. Waiting for the first kiss I wondered if it were meant to be an indoor event. The brisk cold air of October might have even frozen that kiss in an attempt to stop the unstoppable chemistry between a man and women. ….to be continued

Men , ,

EVAPORATE 1-22-2010

July 22nd, 2010

EVAPORATE   1-22-2010

They all evaporated.

The men were all gone.

The Chef, the Texan, the West coaster, the White rabbit….

Nothing extraterrestrial

In thick, not thin air

Making the silence more noticeable

I hear the bones rattle in the wind at night

Reassuring me of the permanence before me

Were my thoughts revoked?

As I tripped on a crack and fell in

Breaking words in two

That stumbled out of my mouth

Unexpectedly

Was I not careful enough

to move out of the way of oncoming traffic?

Fate has moved

They all evaporated

Men