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Posts Tagged ‘gratitude’

Please stop F-ing With Me! (from Fucked up Prayers for Fucked up people or Modern Prayers for Modern people)

January 21st, 2014

Fortune
Dear Me__, (Fill in the bank with your favorite Supreme Being, Deity, Spirit Guide, etc)

It’s me!
Please cease and desist these childish games of “groundhog day”, “around the block one more time”, and “remember me?”

When I meet a man in my life and it doesn’t go in a very positive way, I say goodbye and move on.

Why do you keep sending them back to me?
Nora always use to say, “bless them and send them back to God.”
Did God move and not send me its forwarding address?
Is it because I don’t believe in God and am merely “talking to the hand?”
Or just nature’s way of telling me something’s wrong?
Jesus! Or Holy cow! Or just plain, Fuck me!

Hello? Yes, this is she.
Or in Text form: Yes? Who is this, you are not in my “contacts”

Oh, hey Ramano, yes, it’s been a long time. Yes, the Chef, of course I remember you. What’s up? Want to get together? Sure. I still haven’t heard from him yet.

Oh Vik! Yes, I remember you from my friends, friend’s, birthday party 18 months ago. (The worst date that I have ever been on) No, I don’t want to get together again!

Hey Dave! Do I remember you? Not exactly. You were the one that drugged and maybe raped me on New Years Eve last year. So, no, no, I don’t want to go out for a drink.

Steve, Steve who? Oh yes, the Steve from that outside hotel bar two years ago. The after party, party. Are you still married? Yeah, thought so. Call me after the divorce comes through. Nope, I haven’t been thinking about you at all.

Oh hey Paul! What’s up? Do you think we will ever get back together again? WTF! We broke up in 1982. No, no, no, it’s not going to happen. Click.

Fuh real?

It’s been a rough year.
Maybe only two dates, two booty calls.

Prayer:
With gratitude, I would like to say that at least men find me memorable and desirable enough to contact me years after we met, regardless of the outcome.
So what if I am still single.
There are worse things in the world.
Amen.

Men, Prayer, desire, and begging , ,